"What was I saying?"

Difficulties in concentration during times of loss can be incredibly difficult for some people to manage. People experiencing any type of loss may have this concern - bereavement, loss of health due to chronic or terminal illness, loss of employment, loss of a relationship to name a few. Difficulty in concentration often results in forgetfulness. While forgetting your keys, or appointment times, or people’s names may, to some, seem trivial, for a person who is emotionally distraught and already sensitive to strain and stress, seemingly trivial things very quickly add up. Many people who I work with are distressed by their inability to remember to take care of the things they so easily used to take care of. The negativity that can generate from this causes some people to not want to engage in social or work settings out of fear that people will think that they are not coping well. There is much more to coping than this. However, people want their lives as predictable as possible during a time when control is often out the window. The most important thing to remember is that you must be patient. Time is a factor here. So are learning new skills or bringing back skills that worked in the past. If you have come to a point where it is understood that you are not remembering things well, take steps to make life easier. This does not signify weakness, in fact, it is quite the opposite. A person capable of utilizing their resources and skills is someone with great strength. So what does this mean? Buy a calendar and a note pad or use electronic versions of both. Write down dates, times, appointments, to do lists, and make sticky notes of everything that is important for you to remember. Have a list by the front door of things to check before leaving the house – is the coffee pot off, did I take my cell phone, remember to lock the front door. In your notepad or in a note taking app, make a list of important or new people, where you met them, what they look like. By taking some extra time to put information down on paper, you will save time and frustration caused by forgetfulness and a lack of concentration. Be kind to yourself and try to make life as simple as possible because grieving loss, no matter what type of loss, is hard work.